Resilience and Success

We are living in uncertain and difficult times. The recent situation with regard to Covid, and possible implications for the economy, is frightening. Most of us are living under a cloud of low level anxiety. None of this is good for your business, or work practices. In order to be successful we need to generate positive emotional resilience.

Resilience has been increasingly studied in the last decade, and has been found to be vital for successful health and well-being. We all face challenges in our lives, and the capacity for a speedy recovery is the hallmark of successful people.

Although resilience is important in all difficult situations, this article focuses on aspects we face in business; 

  • Negative feedback from a senior stakeholder
  • Challenging a member of your team
  • Losing customers/clients

Resilience is like a muscle. You need to develop it, and keep exercising in order to improve. It helps you to recover from a difficult situation and create something new.

Reflection

  • Think of something serious that has gone wrong in your life
  • Consider your time and energy spent dwelling on the incident
  • Give yourself marks out of 10, 10 equalling extremely resilient, 0 meaning collapsing and giving up
  • Give yourself a clear target number for improving your resilience
  • This will indicate how much you will need to practise

When problems occur, we think negatively. Resilient people are aware of their negative thoughts, and can accept them before replacing them with a more positive inner dialogue. The longer you dwell in negativity, the longer it will be before you move on from your problem. However, resilience is not ignoring issues, it includes accepting that something bad has happened. 

After reflection resilient people recognise their negative thoughts and recreate a more positive mental approach and outcome. This is a fundamental characteristic of resilience; moving from negative thoughts, to positive ideas.

Dealing with the upset 

  • Acknowledge that what has happened is serious
  • Allow yourself to feel angry or upset
  • Spend some time reflecting on why and how it happened
  • Accept that there is nothing that will change the past
  • Notice your negative thoughts, and start to let them go 

You now need to reframe your thinking to be more positive and optimistic, this will give you the energy to bounce back. 

Reframing

  • I am angry that my boss criticised my team, but what can I learn to make things different 
  • I am furious that my Finance Director has upset the board, I need involve someone to help him develop his interpersonal skills
  • I am upset that I lost that work, I am determined to find something bigger and better
  • I am sad that I have to reduce my team, how can I inspire those remaining to deliver

In order to develop your resilience you will have to be aware of when it is needed, and practise some of the recommended steps. Remember that adopting a resilient approach will lead to a more successful, and flourishing, business.

Inspiring Leadership: 7 Ways to improve your inner dialogue

Do you notice that you are not always helpful to yourself? Are you busy listening to the critical voice that we all have. Read about how to be hugely successful in my forthcoming book, The Promotion Project: Raising your Profile, Presence and Prospects To lead you need confidence so start tackling your negative inner dialogue: –

1.Have fun with what you are telling yourself. Sing it aloud

2.Imagine that you are listening to someone you love, what would you say to them?

3. Write it down, and then post it, in the sea, fire, loo

4. Focus on your leadeeship goals reaffirm them, Have an alarm with the affirmation hourly

5. Think how you can help your team, if you let that voice go

6. Imagine it in a silly voice

7. Imagine the words disappearing over the horizon

 

4 Aspects of Leading through Change

 Courage is not the absence of fear.

It is doing what you fear.

In times of change we have to act courageously.

Be measured.

Stay calm and inspire your colleagues.

Control is an important measure of leadership.

When a crisis arises stop, think, breathe, and then choose your       action.

Lead from the front

A great leader must not only lead, but be trusted by others to support them.

A great leader maintains his presence, however difficult the situation.

Lead from the back

Great leaders always know how to get the best from their teams.

Leadership is about empowering others.

        Great leaders know when to call on others’ strengths.

Adapted from Stegel, R. (2010) Mandela’s Way

 

7 Tips to Successful Leadership. Part One

The main issue

One of the biggest problems facing leaders is how to engage people. How is it that some inspire naturally, and others struggle? This is an important question and I have worked on it with many clients. So what is the magic trick? It is due to being able to manage your mood or ‘state’. First of all you can act as if you feel inspiring, enrolling or brave – the opposite, and best way is to be inspiring, enrolling and brave. So how can you generate this readily?

Acting not being     

                                                                                                          
Have you ever listened to someone, and felt cynical or bored. Often this is because communication is related to our body language and tone of voice, therefore only 10% of communication is the actual words. We spend hours planning what we are going to say in a presentation, or a meeting. We rarely spend any time planning our state of mind. Consequently doing this will massively increase your impact.
So what is the answer?
Plan your state for any important meeting because it will change your behaviour massively. So here is how you can trigger an appropriate mood or state? We are all different so keep testing.

7 Tips

Below are some suggestions which may help. Try one or two of the following and notice how you feel before and after. You could even try some of them on the way to work!
1. Go outside and spend time walking quickly, or doing some physical exercise you enjoy
2. Look at beautiful scenery, photos or pictures
3. Listen to different music, write your feelings before and after each song. You may enjoy a song, but you don’t want to meet your CEO feeling nostalgic
4. Dance to some music that you enjoy
5. Read an inspiring quote
6. Watch an inspiring talk
7. Reflect on a time when you won, or a time when you achieved a goal despite adversity. Really remember it in detail, feel how your body responds. You could write it as a story if you would enjoy that.
In future
Remember to find the mood/state that is needed for this meeting. Is it enthusiasm, passion, patience, courage, or even empathy? This will increase your success a hundredfold, because people will relate to you as authentic. Check out the ‘Preparation for meetings’ blog to help you put this into practice.

For an overview of preparation for meetings visit www.arturo-consulting.com, this will help you practice the above.
#Leadership, #Inspiration’ #Communication, #Success

One Tip to Help You Be a Star in Meetings and Presentations

Brilliant

This is an idea that I have mentioned previously, but I found a great description of how to do it brilliantly. It was proven to be true*, (I know, a little over the top).

What to do

Before you attend a meeting or give a presentation think of a time when you were under pressure but felt in control. Keep it brief, but make it vivid.* I love research that helps people be successful.

I hope this really works for you. Feel free to let me know, cathie@arturo-consulting.com

For great advice go to presentations for meetings on www.arturo-consulting.com

*Beau Lottto, (2017) Deviate

7 simple ways to enrol people in meetings – How to develop relationships at work.

start-up-development

making-friends-in-brilliant-meetings 

As a consultant I have often noticed how easily we forget others in the meeting. We are engrossed in what we are saying, and often unaware of our impact. Even when we are silent, we forget that we may affect others. We act as if meetings=sharing information. Actually this overlooks human nature. Human beings are social, and can notice others’ reaction, or non-reaction, at all times!
As ever this is not rocket science, but we do sometimes forget the following.
Meetings are an opportunity to build, damage or maintain relationships. They are relational, not transactional, as are most conversations. Ask do you want to make friends or enemies?

What follows are 7 suggestions to enhance our relationships, while still exchanging information.

Of course it is always your choice.

 

1. Engagement Before you go to a meeting make sure you are in a good place and feeling committed and enthusiastic. * (see above link)

2. Civility Arrive on time. Make sure that you manage diaries. You need time between meetings to reflect or move.

3. Connection When you enter the room greet people by name, or if you don’t know them, introduce yourself.

4. Speak Say something within the first few minutes this could be an agreement or a question. Keep it brief and simple, this is not the moment to prove your knowledge.

5. Listen Show interest even when it’s not your subject. Most importantly manage your body language, I once watched a man tap his pen every time a particular woman spoke. As she was lead in this five hour meeting, there was a lot of tapping! What would you think if you noticed this when you were speaking?

6. Courtesy Do not look at your phone, your laptop or any social media, unless you want to make an enemy of the person. If you don’t believe this happens, take off those rosy specs. I have seen people doing their emails for hours. Given I was frequently coaching their boss, not very socially aware!

7. Motivation Think of something truthful, positive, or encouraging to say to a colleague. This is not creeping it is simply a way of encouraging and inspiring colleagues.

 

 

 

 

 

7 ways to build relationship – How to make friends and influence people (to misquote Dale Carnegie).

This may all seem blindingly obvious but we rarely do it consistently. Over many years as a consultant, I have picked up on people who are good at this, and people who are not. Guess who succeeds?
If you want to make good, strong relationships in your workplace, with friends, or in families, this is the way to do it. If you notice that a relationship is deteriorating, ask, “Am I doing all of the following?” Relationships are key to human wealth, health and happiness.

1) Listen when people are talking. Usually we are focused on our inner chatter, and planning what to say, as soon as the other person stops to breathe. If you want to be build relationships really listen!

2) Remember as much as you can of what people have told you previously and refer to it when you next meet. This has a powerful impact on your relationship.

3) Support people in groups. People really appreciate public acknowledgement although it does need to be truthful. Even just saying “that’s interesting” can start to win people over.

4) Don’t take the mickey. It can give you a quick laugh and a second’s satisfaction but may embarrass someone, depending on the context. Do you want to be teased in front of; a new partner, a large meeting, or your CEO? Of course humour can be a part of friendly relations, but it needs to be in the right context, otherwise it can be felt as passive aggressive behaviour and very damaging.

5) Say words like thank you and please. Courtesy shows respect and can easily be forgotten in the midst of busy lives.

6) Notice things people are doing well and say so out loud. We’re generally much too quick to criticise.

7) Focus your attention on what you like about people, rather than what you don’t. If you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, it is worth writing ten things that you like about them, even if they are quirky; ‘I like their shirts, they’re always on time etc. This will make your challenge more respectful, and more effective. I do it with people I have not met, but that requires another conversation!

Good Luck and Enjoy
Dr Cathie Woodward
cathie@arturo-consulting.com
www.arturo-consulting.com